How To Get Through A Break-Up

How To Get Through A Break-Up

Break-ups suck. We’ve all been there and the weeks that follow can be truly harrowing.

You really thought he was the one. You were sure that your relationship was forever, which is why you bought that wedding dress after your third date. It was obvious he was going to propose on your one-month anniversary, only he obviously suffered some kind of aneurysm after you’d been dating for two weeks and broke up with you.

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He claimed it was because of the lock of his hair you had hanging around your neck, but you know he’s probably just afraid of commitment.
Either way, now you have to deal with this tragedy. Here’s how.

♥ Don’t Give Up
He might tell you that you’re weird and creepy and he really doesn’t want to see you again, but boys are notoriously bad at communication. Feel free to turn up at his apartment and give him an opportunity to get back with you. He may be too proud to accept your kind offer the first five or six times, so keep it up. He’ll appreciate how caring and empathetic you are.

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You should also target his friends and family at regular intervals and encourage them to offer him the support he needs to get back into the relationship with you.

♥ Cut Your Hair
If this doesn’t work and your relationship is truly over, a strange and dramatic haircut will make you feel better. Piercings and tattoos are also something to consider.

♥ Take To Your Facebook/Twitter Account
You have a lot of emotions right now and it’s ok to let them out. Airing your dirty laundry in public is underrated and those people who befriended you on Facebook want to know every little thing you’re thinking and feeling. Post status updates telling everyone how hopeless everything is and that you’re going to die alone and how he was useless in bed. You should also post meaningful quotes. While you’re there, you should leave comments on his page telling him what a jerk he is.

You can also write snide tweets referring to everything he says online. If he writes that he’s going out for burger, tweet something like “Some people prefer burgers over hotdogs because burgers don’t remind them about how small their penis is”. It’s very classy of you not to mention his name and it won’t be super obvious who you’re talking about.

♥ Let Yourself Go
You can’t be wasting your energy on things like hygiene at a time like this; you need every ounce of it pumped into making yourself feel sad. You can wear the same outfit for at least a week at a time. Sleep in it to conserve energy spent changing into pyjamas. You should also stop taking your morning shower as this will provide you with extra minutes to lie in bed and stare at the wall while you think about how sad you are and what a turd he is.

♥ Talk To Your Friends
Friends are important at times like this. Feel free to ring them at any time even if you know they’re at work/asleep/at a funeral. They won’t mind and will be glad to abandon everything to pay attention to you. Having the same conversation with them repeatedly is also a good idea. They will want to relive every little detail of your final conversation with him over and over and over.

They will also want you to tell them every intimate detail of your relationship. You should tell them a few times just in case they forget. They will probably offer you advice, but feel free to completely ignore it and continue to wallow.

♥ Bring It To The Office
Some people feel like they should keep their personal life separate from their work life, but this is wrong. You should burst into tears at regular intervals during the day. This will make you feel better and also give your colleagues an excuse to ask you about your problems.

You should also let your work performance slide. Embrace a dramatic breakdown at least once a day and declare that you’re too fragile to respond to this email/update this spreadsheet/sharpen this pencil. Your colleagues will respect your honesty and gladly shoulder all your work for the months it takes you to get over the guy.

♥ Call Him
You may feel like space will help you move on, but you’re too emotional to think logically right now. You should call and email him every day telling him how you’re feeling, what you think of him and little thoughts you’ve had about the time you spent together. He’ll appreciate the updates.

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